Photography is often thought of as a way to capture smiles, sunsets, or milestone celebrations. But for Lisa Haukom, founder of the Photo Club, it became a mirror—one that demanded honesty, revealing truths about the parts of herself she had buried deep to survive. This journey of self-confrontation through the camera lens sparked a movement, rewriting how women relate to themselves and boldly challenging a world that tells them to shrink and conform. This isn't about achieving picture-perfect selfies; it's about rewiring our brains, reclaiming our stories, and learning to love what we see—unfiltered and unapologetically.
Beyond Body Positivity
The body positivity movement has undeniably made strides in challenging harmful beauty standards and promoting self-acceptance. However, it often asks us to leapfrog to love and acceptance, bypassing the complex layers of societal conditioning and personal experiences that shape our self-perception.
This can leave women feeling frustrated or ashamed when they struggle to simply "love themselves."
As feminist author Roxane Gay eloquently puts it, "I have been trapped in my body for more than forty years, and no matter what I do, I am no closer to escaping it. This is the reality of my life, and no amount of body positivity is going to change that."
But what does body positivity get right? And how is this work different?
What Body Positivity Gets Right
The body positivity movement has been crucial in expanding our understanding of beauty, promoting diversity, and challenging harmful ideals. Leaders like Lizzo and Jameela Jamil have championed messages of self-acceptance, inspiring countless women to embrace their bodies along with books like The Body Liberation Project
by Chrissy King and More Than A Body Leslie and Lindsay Kite
However, for many, body positivity feels like an elusive destination. It often glosses over the messy, nuanced work of grappling with years of societal pressure, personal trauma, and internalized shame.
It can inadvertently imply that if you don't feel positive about your body, you're failing—a new form of self-blame disguised as empowerment.
Why This Work Is Not Body Positivity
Lisa's approach in Photo Club isn't about bypassing those complex emotions or forcing positivity. It's about rewiring the brain's deeply ingrained patterns of self-criticism and fear through intentional practice and radical honesty. It's not about skipping to the end of the story; it's about rewriting it from the beginning.
"We don’t grow by ignoring how we feel," Lisa emphasizes. "We grow by sitting with it, by seeing it, and by choosing to love ourselves anyway."
This is where the science of repeated exposure comes in...
The Science of Repeated Exposure
At the core of Lisa's method is a powerful neuroscientific principle: repeated exposure. For years, women have been conditioned to scrutinize their bodies and delete photos that don't meet impossible standards.
Every time we delete a "bad" photo, we reinforce the brain's alarm system, training it to react with discomfort and rejection.
Lisa's method flips that script. By intentionally sitting with the photos you take—without deleting them—you train your brain to see yourself differently. It's not about ignoring the discomfort; it's about facing it with compassion.
"Each time you sit with your photos and resist the urge to delete, you're telling your brain: This is also me. This is also me. This is also me." – Lisa Haukom
Over time, this practice quiets the brain’s alarm system, shifting deeply ingrained perceptions about what is “acceptable” or “beautiful.” The transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s lasting. It changes how you see yourself—not just in photos, but in life.
This isn’t about Selfies for Instagram My Friend
Lisa is quick to point out that Photo Club is not about selfies.
"Selfies capture the surface. What we do in Photo Club is capture the soul." – Lisa Haukom
Let’s break it down: a selfie is a quick snapshot taken with your front-facing camera. It’s often about convenience, control, and let’s be real—a little bit of vanity (we’ve all been there). You’re in charge of the angle, the lighting, the expression. You hold the phone, you choose the shot, and if it doesn’t meet your expectations? Delete. Try again. Repeat.
Selfies are created with one goal in mind: to present the version of yourself you think others will like, or at least the one that feels “safe.” They’re polished. They’re practiced. And they’re edited until they fit neatly into the story you want to tell—or worse, the one you feel pressured to tell. That’s why they’re often more about control than connection.
But here’s where my work is different: Photo Club isn’t about controlling the narrative. It’s about releasing it.
Instead of the front-facing camera (hello, distorted perspectives), we flip it around. We use the back camera—yes, the same one you’d use to capture the world around you—to capture you. This subtle shift changes everything. You’re no longer micromanaging the process, checking yourself in real time, or scrambling for the perfect angle. You’re just showing up and letting the camera see you, as you are.
It’s not about creating a flawless image to share with the world. It’s about creating a space where you can see yourself—your raw, unfiltered, unapologetic self—and learn to love every angle, every expression, every truth the lens reveals.
This is the difference between selfies and self-discovery. One is a snapshot. The other is a revolution.
Why Are We So Mortified About Photos in the First Place?
Where does this message come from—that we must look effortlessly beautiful but never try? That we must always appear polished yet pretend it’s “just how we woke up”? This conditioning runs deep, and it’s no accident.
The patriarchy has long taught women that their value lies in their appearance—but only if that appearance meets impossible, ever-changing standards. Worse, it’s not enough to look good; we’re supposed to act as if we don’t care. As if we didn’t spend time choosing the right outfit or fixing our hair or, heaven forbid, wanting to love the way we look in photos.
Here’s the rub: wanting to love your photos isn’t shallow. It’s human. But we’ve been conditioned to believe that admitting we care about our own image is vain, narcissistic, or—God forbid—unfeminine. We’re supposed to look amazing, but it’s supposed to happen magically, effortlessly, like some kind of Cinderella effect.
Why We Delete
The fear of judgment is at the heart of it all. We delete because we don’t want others to see us as flawed, imperfect, or—let’s be honest—trying too hard. We delete because we’re afraid that someone will see the photo and think, She thinks she looks good? Or worse, She thinks she’s worth looking at?
But here’s the truth: deleting those photos doesn’t erase the feelings. It doesn’t heal the wounds. It just reinforces the message that we’re not enough.
Why Sitting With Your Photos Changes Everything
"The instinct to delete feels safer," Lisa says, "but transformation doesn’t come from deleting. It comes from looking at each photo and saying, ‘This is me. This is also me.’"
Through the practice of intentional exposure—sitting with your photos, even the ones you dislike—you begin to teach your brain that it’s safe to be seen. You quiet the alarm bells that go off when you feel exposed, and over time, you rewrite the narrative of who you are.
This isn’t about slapping on a filter and calling it a day. It’s not about quick fixes or magical angles. It’s about deep, neural rewiring. Every time you sit with a photo and refuse to delete it, you’re choosing self-acceptance over self-rejection. You’re telling your brain, This is also me, and I am enough.
Redefining Beauty: On Your Own Terms
Let’s talk about beauty—not the kind we see plastered across magazine covers or filtered to oblivion on Instagram, but the kind that actually matters: the beauty you define for yourself.
The idea that women should strive for effortless beauty is one of the most damaging lies we’ve been sold. Think about it: we’re told we must look stunning at all times, but heaven forbid we admit to trying. It’s not enough to be beautiful; it has to seem like you simply woke up this way. That contradiction? It’s designed to keep us spinning in circles, striving, insecure, and ultimately distracted from the things that actually matter—our power, our voices, and our ability to show up fully in this world.
The Myth of Effortless Beauty: A Trap Disguised as Aspiration
Effortless beauty is a lie. A toxic one. It’s not just about how we look—it’s about what we’re allowed to want. We’re conditioned to believe that admitting a desire to feel beautiful makes us vain, shallow, or worse, desperate.
But here’s the thing: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful. The problem isn’t the desire—it’s the shame we’re made to feel for having it. That shame? It’s not accidental. It’s a tool of control. It keeps women second-guessing themselves, afraid to show up, afraid to be seen.
Society’s message is clear: “Be beautiful, but make it look easy. And by the way, don’t get too confident about it—it might make someone else uncomfortable.”
Let’s reject that outright.
Redefining Beauty, One Frame at a Time
Beauty isn’t about perfection, symmetry, or palatability. It’s about wholeness. It’s about seeing yourself—not just the parts that fit into society’s mold, but the parts that defy it. The parts that are raw, real, and uniquely yours.
As Lisa often says: "Beauty isn’t something we fix, create, or curate. It’s something we uncover." This is the work we do in Photo Club. It’s not about crafting the perfect image; it’s about capturing your essence.
It’s about flipping the camera, stepping into the frame, and saying, “This is me. This is also me.” It’s about claiming your right to love what you see—not for anyone else’s approval, but for your own.
The Radical Act of Loving Yourself
Loving yourself—your whole self—isn’t just a personal victory. It’s a radical act of defiance against a world that profits from your insecurities. When women stop apologizing for their existence, for their bodies, and for their space in the world, the ripple effects are immense.
You’re allowed to love your photos. You’re allowed to feel beautiful. You’re allowed to want these things—not because society says you should, but because you deserve to.
This work isn’t about beauty for beauty’s sake. It’s about what happens when you let go of the shame, when you stop hiding, and when you step into the fullness of who you are. Because when you do? The world doesn’t just see you—it changes with you.
How Women Define Beauty for Themselves
True beauty is deeply personal. It’s not about meeting an external standard; it’s about defining your own. For some women, beauty is in the wrinkles that map a life well-lived. For others, it’s in the way they light up when they talk about something they love. And for many, it’s in the process of finally seeing themselves as they are, without the noise of societal expectations.
In Photo Club, women create their own definitions of beauty. They look at themselves through their own lens—literally—and discover a truth that no filter or outside opinion can erase.
Lisa says it best: “When women take control of their image, they stop letting others define their worth. They reclaim their power, their voice, and their space. That’s what beauty is: owning yourself, unapologetically.”
This isn’t about being seen as beautiful by others. It’s about seeing yourself and knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are enough. That you always have been.
Reclaiming the Lens
In Photo Club, we flip the script. This isn’t about looking perfect for someone else’s gaze. It’s about looking at yourself and seeing everything you’ve been taught to hide. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself you’ve tucked away for fear of being “too much.”
The camera becomes a mirror—not the kind that reflects society’s expectations, but the kind that shows you who you really are.
Through this process, you don’t just learn to take photos. You learn to stop hiding, to stop shrinking, and to stop apologizing for existing exactly as you are. Because the world needs you—fully, unapologetically, gloriously you.
And it all starts with sitting with what you see.
"The camera became my truth-teller. It saw me in ways I hadn’t allowed myself to see for decades." – Lisa Haukom
Photo Club: A Safe Haven for Women
Women are relentlessly targeted by societal pressures that demand perfection, palatability, and service to others above all else. We are taught from an early age that our worth is directly tied to how “pleasing” we are—to the eye, to the world, and even to ourselves. This conditioning doesn’t just impact our self-esteem; it shapes how we show up in every area of life, from work to relationships. It’s a constant burden, and for many, it leads to self-doubt, body dysmorphia, and even eating disorders.
Photo Club was created as a direct antidote to this. It is not just a photography club—it’s a safe haven. A place where women can take off the masks, unlearn the harmful narratives, and simply exist as they are. Here, you’re celebrated—not judged. You’re supported—not scrutinized. And most importantly, you’re allowed to take up space unapologetically.
"Women don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. They just need to show up." – Lisa Haukom, Nasdaq Interview
The Weight of “Triggering Others”
For many women, being seen as their full selves comes with a fear that their confidence, their beauty, or even their success might make others uncomfortable. We’ve been taught to shrink ourselves for the comfort of others, to avoid “triggering” jealousy, resentment, or discomfort.
This fear is deeply ingrained. It’s that inner voice whispering, If I shine too brightly, I’ll make someone else feel small. It’s the hesitation before sharing a win, the instinct to deflect compliments, the urge to apologize for taking up space.
Women have been conditioned to believe that their power is a threat to others—a lesson reinforced by societal narratives that pit us against each other.
In Photo Club, we reject this. This is a space where you can step into your full power without fear of triggering anyone. In fact, we celebrate it. Your joy, your beauty, your unapologetic presence—these things don’t diminish anyone else. They elevate us all.
The Power of Safe Spaces for Women
Safe spaces aren’t just buzzwords; they are a lifeline for women seeking to reconnect with their authentic selves. In Photo Club, safe space means no judgment, no competition, and no pressure to be anything other than who you are. It’s a community of women who cheer each other on, who celebrate each other’s wins, and who understand that when one of us rises, we all do.
For women over 50, this work is especially transformative. These are the women who’ve been told for decades that their beauty has an expiration date, that they should “age gracefully” (read: invisibly), and that their time in the spotlight is over. In Photo Club, they’re reclaiming their narratives.
Take Patricia, for example. At 65, she felt invisible. But through this work, she reconnected with her artistic identity. Her paintings are now featured in multiple galleries—a triumph she credits to the confidence she gained.
And then there’s Sarah, who used Photo Club to confront her body dysmorphia. Through intentional exposure to her own images, she learned to see herself with compassion and shifted the way she viewed her body. “The way I viewed myself shifted in that moment,” she says. “I still get emotional thinking about that photoshoot because I felt so empowered and fulfilled—and I didn’t need to hear it from anyone else.”
Why Now?
The world is changing. Women are tired of the filters, the perfectionism, and the endless race to meet impossible standards. They are seeking spaces where they can be real, where they can be vulnerable, and where they can be celebrated for their truth—not diminished for their shine.
This is what Photo Club offers. It’s not about fixing yourself, because you were never broken. It’s about seeing yourself clearly and realizing that you are already whole. Here, you don’t have to fear being too much. You don’t have to apologize for your light. You can show up fully, unapologetically, and know that you will be met with celebration, not envy.
Because when women see themselves clearly, when they stop shrinking and start shining, the ripple effect is profound. They don’t just change their lives—they change the world around them.
Photo Club isn’t just about photos. It’s about rewriting the narrative that has held women back for generations. It’s about creating a world where women can exist fully, without fear, and with all the power they’ve been told to suppress. Because the truth is, when women are free to be themselves, they make the world better—for everyone.
The Stats: Why This Matters
The cost of poor self-image is staggering:
63% of women feel judged on their appearance at work.
60% of women avoid posting photos online due to insecurity.
Women who embrace visibility report a 50% increase in confidence within six months.
Visibility isn’t just about being seen—it’s about being known. And when women allow themselves to be known, everything changes.
The Ripple Effect of Feeling Empowered
When a woman feels empowered and embraces self-love, the positive effects extend far beyond her own well-being. She experiences improved physical and mental health, including reduced stress and increased resilience. This empowerment also translates to greater success in her professional and social life, as she's more likely to advocate for herself, build stronger relationships, and contribute positively to her community.
Furthermore, her self-acceptance becomes a powerful model for others, particularly children, breaking cycles of insecurity and inspiring future generations to embrace their own worth.When a woman feels empowered and embraces self-love, the positive effects extend far beyond her own well-being. She experiences improved physical and mental health, including reduced stress and increased resilience. This empowerment also translates to greater success in her professional and social life, as she's more likely to advocate for herself, build stronger relationships, and contribute positively to her community. Furthermore, her self-acceptance becomes a powerful model for others, particularly children, breaking cycles of insecurity and inspiring future generations to embrace their own worth.
Why This Work Is Vital for Women Today
We live in a world that conditions women to feel inadequate. From unrealistic beauty standards to systemic barriers in the workplace, the message is clear: You’re not enough. This narrative isn’t just disempowering—it’s harmful. Studies reveal that:
60% of women avoid social situations due to insecurities about their appearance.
70% of women feel held back in their professional lives by a lack of confidence.
1 in 3 women report that their body image prevents them from pursuing personal or professional opportunities.
The Science Behind Self-Love and Self-Image
Lisa’s method of self-portraiture is grounded in neuroscience. By repeatedly exposing yourself to images that reflect your true self, you retrain your brain to recognize and accept the person you see. This process, called repeated exposure therapy, has been shown to:
Decrease negative self-talk by 30% within the first few weeks.
Build new neural pathways that support self-compassion and resilience.
Increase self-esteem, creating a foundation for long-term well-being.
Lisa explains, "When women see themselves clearly—without judgment or filters—they begin to rewrite the narrative in their minds. They start to believe, ‘I am enough. I deserve to take up space.’ And that belief changes everything."
Lisa’s Mission: A Revolution in Self-Love
Lisa Haukom’s journey to self-love wasn’t a straight path. It was shaped by a childhood of adversity, where survival meant learning to hide the parts of herself that were too vulnerable to be safe.
"My confidence was undermined at every turn," Lisa shares. "I grew up shielding myself, protecting myself, and tucking parts of myself so far away they became unknown even to me."
But in her 40s, Lisa chose to confront those hidden parts. Armed with only an iPhone, a tripod, and the courage to face herself, she embarked on 30 transformative days of self-portraiture. What started as a personal experiment evolved into Photo Club—a space for women to reconnect with themselves, rewrite their stories, and claim their space in the world.
"This isn’t just about photos," Lisa emphasizes. "It’s about rewriting the story society has told women for generations. When women love themselves, the whole world benefits."
"When women love themselves, the whole world benefits." – Lisa Haukom
Comments